Jesus in New York

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Jesus in New York?

By Colin C. Bell

Did you ever wonder, what it would be like if Jesus would be born into our modern world? What kind of reception would he receive from us?
Read the following fictional report by an investigative reporter.

The New York News

Born in a Garage

Who hasn’t heard of “Jeez’ these days, the new charismatic leader, attracting scores of followers and crowds at his meetings? But what do we really know of him?
Regarding his background I’ve been able to uncover a lot of interesting and perhaps extraordinary information.
One of the strangest statements came from his own mother. She seemed to have been involved in some kind of spiritualism or psychic phenomena even before his birth. She claims that not long before Jeez’ birth she was visited by some kind of alien or supernatural being. She enthusiastically called it a being of light and an “angel”. He supposedly even told her his name, Gabe. Imagine that!
According to her account this angel or alien then proceeded to tell her she would have a baby, a son. Mary believes that not much later she actually conceived the baby, without any natural father being involved. An unbelievable claim at any rate, even in the days of artificial insemination.

When I asked further what this encounter with this angel was like, she answered somewhat evasively that “it made her feel very close to Heaven.” Hmm.
It’s interesting to note that Jeez himself is often quoted saying “his father in Heaven”, though some assumed he was referring to Joe, Mary’s husband, who passed away a few years ago.
Peculiar are also the circumstances of his birth. Apparently Joe had come to New York to clear up some problems with the IRS and his pregnant wife had come with him. At that time several conventions were held in New York and groups of protesters had also descended to demonstrate at the UN meeting. To make a long story short hotel rooms were fully booked and they ended up staying in a garage a ‘friendly’ motel owner had opened for them.
Apparently Joe was going to make arrangements with a nearby hospital, but somehow they never got that far. The next day the baby boy was born right there in that dirty garage.
Then on top of all this Mary told me of this visit by a local basketball team. At first I didn’t want to follow up on that, but when I did, I managed to locate some members of this former youth team, who are now well past the age of playing serious sports.
Most of them were rather hesitant to talk about the events being afraid to be ridiculed. But at least one of them has become a frequent visitor at Jeez’ meetings. From what I gathered, these guys were shooting hoops at an outdoor court behind a housing estate when they, too, had an “alien encounter”, as one of them put it.
“I was just trying for a 3-pointer when I saw this light blinding me. So of course I missed and I thought, ‘Sh**! Who’s putting that spotlight on? It wasn’t there before!’”
Another said, “It was like an UFO or so. It was getting bigger. And then people, all shiny, appeared in the light. And Buff, that’s my buddy, said, ‘Oh man, we’re either in trouble or in a Spielberg movie.’ But it wasn’t a movie at all. Special effects and so. We looked around, but no camera crew or so. And that’s when I wanted to run. Buff said it too, ‘Man, let’s get out of here.’ “
This account was confirmed by a third person. “I think we all got cold feet. We thought it was the police mistake us for some drug pushers. But then those extra-terrestrials or whatever talked to us. They said we’d find a baby born in a garage, who one day would be a great star and save the world or so. – And then they were gone.
“And we look at each other and one says, ‘Are we going nuts? Or what?’
“So we’re still not sure this is real, but we all saw it, even the coach.”
“Yeah, and we look around and there’s a row of garages further down the road and one of ‘m has some light.”
“So we go and knock, and bingo, there’s the baby.”
“So we look at the baby and the mother, and the father is gone to get some stuff. So we tell her not to worry, we’re no robbers or druggies, we’re okay, just shooting hoops in the ‘hood.”
“And coach, he gives her his left-over dollars.”
“Yeah. And I gave him our extra ball. He’s wanna play ball, when he’s grow up, right?”
And another said, “I gave’m my cap.”
Apparently they were so excited, they told everyone in the neighborhood. “But we were laughed at and so we soon stopped talking about it.”

When I found the coach, an old man now, he remembered this experience and called it “the most amazing spiritual experience of his life!” When I asked him if he had ever gone to see Jeez as a grown-up, he replied, “What team does he play for?” I had to explain that he hadn’t become a basketball player, but a spiritual leader, and he commented with “that doesn’t surprise me at all.”
Also I heard that later the little family was visited by some media teams, who gave’m some gifts. No doubt hoping to cash in one day on the story.
Eventually the Childcare and Welfare department got wind about it and began procedures to take the baby away from the parents, which they deemed unfit. But the parents prevented any action by crossing state lines.
I’ve not come by much information of his years since, but now that he’s back in New York he’s causing quite a stir, drawing followers from all levels of society; yuppies, former drug runners, and even celebrities. He’s also quite popular with the homeless and the streetwalkers. People ascribe him healing powers and claim to have seen miracles.
“This is nothing new,” one of the local church leaders said. “This kind of movement never lasts. The church – our church – is the true home of faith.”
When I finally talked with Jeez himself he explained, “I simply have a message from God to give to people.”
In inquiring about this message, he answered, “Love God and love others, that’s all.”
But I had heard of some rather controversial statements, so I continued, “You said something like ‘Love your enemies.’ What about that?”
He said, “That’s right. Love your enemies and do something for them – something good.”
I probed further by asking if that included, “Iraqis, Palestinians, and other Arabs?”
He replied with, “Sure does. And Jews.”
So you can see why he’s rather controversial. Talking with representatives of the government, a high-ranking official, who didn’t want to give his name, said, “We’re keeping an eye on it. I mean we are concerned. In this day and age any kind of comment like that plays into the hands of terrorists. We are prepared to take further measures, if the situation warrants it.”
What these measures would be one can only guess.
I also had a personal talk with Jeez. He’s a very likeable fellow, but when I asked what I was to do, he only repeated, “Love God, love your neighbor.”
I insisted I had never done anything really bad. That’s when he said, if I want the “real stuff” I could come with him. Give up my newspaper writing and do PR for him or so.
Asking about the salary he only replied that “great will be my honor and reward in Heaven”. Not exactly the job I had in mind! So that’s when I discreetly excused myself. All I wanted was to get a good story. So that’s the scoop for now and who knows – there may be more to come.

Editor’s Note: We’re sorry to have to inform you that the writer of the above article is no longer working with us. He resigned the day after this article saying something like he “received an urgent call that he simply couldn’t miss to follow up on.” – We will keep you informed.

Amusing? Well, of course, Jesus isn’t going to be born in our age. And it’s a lot better that way, isn’t it? It’s so much safer to have him far removed from us in space and time. Having Him right here with us would be just a little too controversial. We would have to take a stand.

But, come to think of it – isn’t that why He came in the first place?

 

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